Time To Pretend
by risokura
Summary: Random conversations at night when neither one can sleep. Oh, and there's always the issue of unrequited love, of course. GenderBend Axel&Roxas.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**A/N:** Wanted to try something new with these two. Not sure if I want to continue this into something longer.

-x-

**Time To Pretend**

-x-

It was hopeless for me to try and get to sleep. Albeit, my eyes were starting to grow weary from staring at the neon blue lighting of Axel's alarm clock for the past half hour. I turned over onto my back and let my left leg slide out from underneath the duvet and into the comfortable chill of the dorm room. Stretching my arms over my head, I arched my back off the bed and relieved my cramped bones.

I turned to look over my shoulder and found myself met with Axel's bony backside. Her shoulders were obscured by her insane red hair. With their steady rise and fall, I could tell that she was asleep while I was struggling to do so. Figures. She keeps me up half the night and then she's the first one to fall asleep.

I don't sleep much to begin with, but I'm bound to get tired at some point. Axel always has this habit of keeping me up _past _said point, though. I watched her shoulders rise and fall for a moment as I considered waking her up. She'd probably give me shit for it, but, whatever. It was better than tossing and turning all night long.

"Axel."

She grunted, shifting in the covers slightly so that she was curled further toward the wall and away from me. I frowned, undeterred by her ignoring me.

"_Axel_."

"Go to sleep, Rox." She mumbled, her voice partially obscured by her pillow. She shifted in the sheets, wrapping them up around her shoulders and burying down so that they partially covered her head.

"I can't sleep." I said, rolling onto my stomach and staring down the tufts of red hair that escaped through the top of the duvet.

Her shoulders relaxed and she shifted in the sheets again, "…Neither can I."

"That's what you get for keeping us up."

She turned around to face me. "_Me_?"

"Yeah. _You_." I answered, turning over onto my back and crossing my arms over my chest, "Ten matches of Brawl turned into fifteen. Fifteen turned into thirty. Don't forget; let's get Sora and Riku in on _Super Smash Brothers Brawl Gay Fest 2011_."

"You're _still _angry about that?"

"It was just supposed to be the two of us tonight."

Axel sighed. I knew she was probably rolling her eyes at me by this point, "Why in the world do you think I offered to bring you back to my dorm tonight?"

"Because your insane ass suitemates are gone for the night?"

"Well … that's one of the reasons." She rubbed tiredly at her nose, "Another might be Riku and Sora looked like they were about to devour each other right before we left. Figured they wanted some time alone, hm? And besides, when was the last time we had the chance to hang out like that? This semester has turned onto something worse than hell."

I frowned, "Well, whatever."

"Your argument right now has no valid grounds." Axel stated bemusedly, "Besides, if I remember correctly, you were getting into it just like the rest of us, huh?"

I shrugged my shoulders and turned my attention to the stream of Christmas lights Axel had hung around her window, "_Whatever_."

She chuckled to herself and stifled a yawn with the back of her hand, "You know, I was thinking. That movie we saw tonight sucked."

"It did. Wasn't scary at all. Waste of nearly fifteen dollars."

"Ah, no." Axel interjected, "I remember you jumping out of your chair."

"Liar." I mumbled into my pillow, "You must have reached for and squeezed my arm at _least _three times tonight."

"What about that high pitched girly scream we heard tonight? Sure sounded familiar and it had just about the entire movie theater in stitches."

"See, you make statements like those and you wonder why you get your ass kicked in video games all the time." I replied, pulling the duvet up to my face to hide the blush that was threatening to form there. Axel was exaggerating. It wasn't _that _high pitched.

Axel laughed, stretching her arms out over her head and pushing against the edge of her cramped dorm bed with the tips of her toes. She sighed languidly and turned her attention to the ceiling, "Is that so?" She asked, bemusedly. She yawned loudly and then turned her attention to me again, "So? What should we do to get to sleep?"

I shrugged, "Are you even tired?"

"No, but I've got an early shift at the library tomorrow. It'd be smart if I got _some _kind of sleep, huh?" She blew some hair out of her eyes in exasperation, "That freak Vexen keeps trying to hit on me, too."

"I thought you straightened things out with him?" I asked, frowning.

"I _did_." She said, shifting on her side to look at me fully, "But, fuck, man. He can't take a damn hint, it's ridiculous. I mean, we all know that I don't do shit in the library, but sit at the reference desk, paint my nails and look pretty. You should see all the moronic frat boys that come in salivating over something that they'll never have." She scoffed, "Ha, as if."

"So, I take it that you're no longer _bisexual_?" I asked, adding air quotes for emphasis.

Axel shrugged her shoulders, "Not _this _again." She rubbed the side of her face.

"You flip flop every week." I said, rolling my eyes at her irritation, "One week it's you want to give guys a chance again. Then you're claiming that you've given up being strictly dickly and you wanna bat for your own team again. Then we go through the moments when you can't decide on what you want, get wasted and make out with anyone and everyone depending on your mood. And don't tell me you're confused or just experimenting anymore. You've been confused and experimenting ever since we were fourteen."

"Oh my God, Roxas. Does it matter that much?" Axel rolled her eyes now, "And aren't you supposed to be confused about who and what you are in your teens and early twenties, anyway? Not all of us have it figured out you know. And you're one to talk about having themselves figured out." I could feel myself stiffen slightly as I heard Axel chuckle lowly, "Shall we recount your splendid tales of rainbow crisis?"

"_Rainbow __CRISIS__?_" I looked at her incredulously.

Axel put her thumb to her ear and pinky up to her mouth like she was on the phone. Her voice dropped a bit from its usual rasp as she tried to imitate my voice, "Axel? It's … it's Roxas. I … I just kissed a girl and … I think I might have just wet my panties!"

"That did _not _happen."

"It most definitely did. Xion did you in that night, didn't she Roxy?" Axel knocked me on the shoulder lightly and I returned the favor by punching her as hard as I could on hers. "Ow, dammit." She rubbed at her shoulder and giggled despite the pain, "My little Roxas turned into a real woman that night. It was like getting your period all over again, I bet."

"For the last time we _didn't _have sex!" I said, punching her again, "She just kissed me is all."

"Mmmhm." She winced, rubbing her shoulder, "At any rate … I don't think it much matters. I'm sick of labels and trying to define myself. Whatever, rather whoever, comes my way is the person I'll be with. Dick or no dick. Rubber dick, glass dick. You get the picture." She frowned, "How the hell did we go from talking about how much of a creep Vexen is, to my off and on case of gayness and you being Queen Femmy Femme?"

I rolled my eyes at her and shifted in the duvet, "Nevermind." I picked up head up off my pillow and turned to look at the alarm clock again. Time was moving too slow.

"So, heard any interesting gossip lately?" Axel asked hopefully.

"Not really..." I began, but quickly recanted, "Well … I heard from Sora that Cloud was seen entertaining a certain well endowed RA in his dorm room last week. Squall was looking more constipated than usual this week … guess something might have happened." I shrugged, "…Oh, and Professor Setzer was seen doing some weird shit with that weird ass professor that teaches Physics … uh …"

"Mansex?"

"…You did _not _just say that." I sighed loudly, "How long did it take you to come up with that?"

"Hmm, maybe a day or two?" He grinned, "Sounds like a semi eventful week, then."

"The same stupid shit." I waved a hand nonchalantly, "How's your mom doing?"

"She's doing better. Of course she got another dog to keep her company. That's Sushi, Soy Sauce and now Spring Roll. Don't ask why she keeps choosing these names for those damn dogs. I stopped questioning long ago." Axel shrugged, "Brother came in from Twilight Town to visit her for a bit."

"How is … Reno?"

"Broke up with his current girlfriend cause she was fucking psychotic." Axel laughed, "I've been hearing from the both of them that I need to find someone soon because it's been …" She paused to count on her fingers, "It's been … six years since I last had a boyfriend."

"Still didn't tell them about Larxene, did you?"

"No." Axel shrugged, "And I don't really intend to. That was nearly three years ago. It's in the past now."

I nodded, "Hmm …"

"How's _your _family?" Axel asked, turning to look at me.

"Mom is fine. Still working long hours like always. Didn't really have time to talk to her all that much." I frowned at the thought of my mother.

"Huh." Axel said, though she didn't press any further. It was an unspoken sort of understanding that Axel and I had when it came to the relationship between my mother and I. "Well, then. That's … good to hear that she's well, then." I felt her shift under the sheets, "What time is it?"

"Almost one."

"Shit, man." Axel ran a hand over her face. She shifted again in bed and let out a long, distressed moan, "I'm never going to get to sleep at this rate."

"Neither am I."

"Think music would help?"

"Worth a try."

Axel rose slightly, hoisted herself over me, slinked her way off of the bed and walked over to her desk to where her docking station was, "Let's see …"

"Put on something I'll listen to. No shitty Korean or Japanese pop."

Axel immediately whipped around to look at me, "What did you _say_?"

"You heard me." I sat up in bed and started to list names at I numbered them off on my fingers, "No Utada Hikaru, Ayumi Hamasaki, Koda Kumi, Namie Amuro, Maki Goto—"

"What about Morning Musume?" I knew she was fucking with me.

I stared at her blankly, "I'll gladly get out of this bed right now and walk halfway across campus to my dorm room in my pajamas if you put that atrocity on."

"Kanon Wakeshima?" She asked curiously.

"…Fine."

Two seconds later, _still doll _was playing from the speakers and Axel was walking back over to the bed. I shifted so she could climb over me and settle into her position by the wall again. Once Axel was settled under the duvet, she sighed in content and looked back up at me, "This works, hm?"

"I only said yes because the majority of her stuff isn't obnoxious, peppy and …"

"_Ka~waii_." Axel grinned, stifling a laugh with the back of her hand, "And her songs aren't in need of more _desu_."

"I really wish you would stay off the internet." I replied, sighing.

"What else am I supposed to when I'm not paying attention in lecture?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest and laughing again.

"I think it would _benefit _you if you did. Maybe then you wouldn't feel the need to come slinking into my dorm room at all hours of the night, whining and crying about how screwed you are because you failed to pay attention and take notes." I raised a curious eyebrow, "What'd you get on Xaldin's last exam, by the way?"

I heard her mumble something that sounded oddly like _twenty two,_ but I wasn't sure. She averted her gaze from mine for a moment and then turned to me and grinned, "Say, Roxas?"

"What, Axel?"

"Guess what?"

"_What_, Axel?"

She turned to look at me, "I dunno."

Why did I _bother _with her half the time? I sighed loudly, "You're an idiot."

"But, you love me anyway." She sniffed, kicking her portion of the duvet down and rested her hands over her abdomen, "Roxas?"

"If this is another stupid—"

"It's not." Axel shook her head and bit the corner of her lip, "I just want to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Well …" She glanced toward the docking station as a music box variant of _still doll _came on. Axel redirected her attention back to me with her eyebrows slightly furrowed in curiosity, "I was just thinking. You know how we all say we have plans after all of this. You know, when we're done with school and everything? I just wanted to know, do you think any of that is really set in stone?"

"Not really." I began, "It's just a rough idea of what we have in mind. At least, I believe so. Why?"

"No reason, just thinking." She turned back to me, "What do you want to do after we graduate?"

I turned my attention back to the ceiling, "Maybe I'll get my own place here. I'm not going back to Twilight Town, that's for sure. I'll only go back there to gather everything up and then I'm gone."

"And leave me all by my lonesome?"

"Didn't you want to travel halfway across the globe to go visit a bunch of obscure places?" I asked.

"Well, yeah." Axel shrugged, "It's just an idea, though. You know how I'm always changing my mind about what I want to do. Besides, there's still the issue of getting my doctorate and finding time to fit all these ideas I have into my life. There's never enough time, huh? I don't know, I'll leave things to fate … or chance … or whatever. Maybe I'll just go wherever the wind takes me."

"Axel, get real."

"Come on Rox, lighten up." She started to elbow my side gently, "Maybe you can come with me. Two friends, braving danger and adventure all the way to the ends of the Earth. We could be like …Indiana Jones or something, except females. And with two of us we'll have twice the vagina power and what not. Fighting evil, kicking ass and the like."

"…Where do you come up with this type of stuff?"

"I was told I had a very vivid imagination as a child."

"Are you sure it was just as a _child_? Honestly, what in the world goes on in that head of yours?"

"A lot, I can assure you."

"I find that statement to be questionable at best."

"Okay, okay." Axel patted my shoulder, "What about relationships?"

"What about them?"

"I mean …" She began, "I mean; you've never really had one, right? You dated that guy Hayner for a little while but we figured you were more interested in Olette after some time. Then there was Xion who I _still _think you should have gone out with, but that was too much for your virginal mind to hand. You haven't had a relationship since we graduated high school, Rox. Don't you ever think about it at all?"

"You haven't _either _might I add." I countered.

"Yeah, but I've had more than you." Axel countered back, crossing her arms over her chest in a child like manner.

"I don't really care to think about it." I replied, closing my eyes and shrugging, "And before you say something, _yes_, I do consider school to be more important than a relationship right now. Also, everyone I meet is a fucking idiot. They're usually immature, never meet up to my standards and are a complete waste of time."

Axel laughed gingerly, "Roxas, you never give anyone a long of enough chance to figure out if they meet your standards."

"Yes, I do." I stated, "And all of them turned out to be idiots."

"Well, okay." Axel began, "What if you found someone who wasn't an idiot?"

"Then … we'd have to see where things went." I shrugged, "I'm not a big relationship person, Axel. You know this."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Miss Lone Wolf." She grinned, "It was a miracle I befriended you, huh?"

"Not like I had much of a choice." I inhaled deeply, "I knew I was fucked from the minute you sat down next to me in biology and we were made partners."

"_I _think it was the start of something beautiful." Axel chuckled.

"Or the beginning of my inevitable descent into insanity primarily by your doing."

"That's love I'm hearing."

"You're delusional."

"Wouldn't have been the first to told me so." Axel snickered, "What time is it?"

"Fifteen past the hour." I turned away from the alarm clock.

"Maybe we should just stop talking and try and get some sleep, huh?"

"If you were actually tired, Axel, you would have fallen asleep regardless of whether we were talking or not. Do you know how many times you've fallen asleep on me in mid-conversation in the past?

"Tons." Axel answered, stifling a yawn with her hand, "You know what would tire me out?"

"What?"

"Sex." She answered cheerfully, a dopey smile coming to her face, "Not that you would know. Right, Roxas?"

"Not _this _again." I mumbled, turning away from her, "That's all you ever think about."

"Not true. I think about tons of other stuff."

"Like _what_?" I asked, "How to be a daily nuisance to just about everyone on this campus?"

"Well, sure. Have to keep things interesting, you know?" She snickered briefly, "But, no, really. Does it make you uncomfortable when I talk about sex?"

"No." I replied, pulling the duvet up around my shoulders and shaking my head, "It's a part of life. How else are we supposed to further the advancement of the human race as a species?"

"…Roxas, we really need to work on the way you interact with people. Do you know how unsexy that sounds?" I could hear the distaste in her voice, "Who the hell refers to sex as a way to advance the human race?"

"What the hell do you think the whole point of sex is?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, "Be fruitful and multiply. You know, find a mate and have babies."

"_Obviously_, Roxas." She rolled her eyes at me, "But there's more to it than that. And I hate that saying, just so you know. Be fruitful and multiply. What does that even _mean_? Become a giant fruit … like … deem yourself Queen Raging Bull Dyke and run around capturing swarms of virginal straight girls in your nest of—"

"Please. Shut up." I massage my forehead, "My point is … I'm a little old fashioned when it comes to sex."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." She interlaced her fingers behind her head and turned to face me, "Not like you have to worry about getting pregnant at all, but you're saving yourself for that special one, right?" Axel grinned, "You're so cute, Rox."

I felt my stomach twist in slight embarrassment and averted my gaze from Axel briefly, "Shut up."

"No, really. I think it's a novel idea." Axel said, "Just so you know, I hope your first blows your fucking mind. So much so, that you have trouble walking the next morning. I wanna hear all the details, by the way."

"Can we _not _talk about my nonexistent sex life?"

"All right, all right." Axel shifted in the sheets and fixed the duvet over her chest, "Don't need you having a conniption and having your brain explode do we?"

Axel went silent after I mumbled something about kicking her ass if she didn't shut up. I looked up at the alarm clock again before I closed my eyes and settled down into bed. The room was quiet, and I suppose Axel was trying to get to sleep just as I was. I was nearly on the brink of falling asleep when I felt Axel wrestling with the covers as she tried to get situated. Two seconds later, Axel shifted and I felt her draping an arm over my hips as she pressed up against my backside, "You think we'll get to sleep faster if we cuddled?"

"If it shuts you up, then, sure, whatever. I don't even care at this point."

"Hmm, Rox … what are you wearing?"

"…Are you _sniffing _me right now?" I asked incredulously.

"You smell _really _nice." Axel responded, "What is it?"

"Something from Victoria Secret that Sora gave me for my birthday this year." I replied, "Now, are you going to shut up and go to sleep or are you going to keep me up with even more irrelevant comments and statements?"

She gave me a tight squeeze around my abdomen and laughed gently, "No. That's all for now. Night, Rox."

"Night, Axel."

-x-

The first thing I registered when I woke up at about three that morning was that Axel was missing. The music coming from her docking station had stopped and the room was quiet. I sat up in bed looking around the room for a minute before stepping down off the bed and advanced toward the sliding door that led into the living room area of her suite. I paused briefly as I heard hushed voices coming from beyond the door.

"Watch it. _Watch it, _Zex. What the fuck were you guys _drinking _tonight?"

"Oh my God, I'm gonnnaaaa diiiieeeee. Just let meeeee diiiieeeee."

"No, fucking, pick his head up—don't just … drop him." I heard her sigh, "Well, great."

"Ughhh …"

I slid the door back and walked into the lounge area to see what was going in. Axel had her hands on her hips, shaking her head at a passed out Demyx on her floor. Marluxia would have been in the same condition if not for Zexion supporting the brunt of his weight. She crossed her arms and sighed, "…Look, I … why the hell can't you three go back to your _own_ place?"

"Off campus housing." Zexion replied, "I could technically drive there but does it honestly look like I can get anywhere with these two in the condition that they're in?"

"I suppose not." Axel turned on her heel and she smiled warmly when she saw me standing there with a questionable look on her face, "Look, Rox. The gang's all here."

"What the hell?" I asked, walking toward the arch of the door and surveyed what was going on, "Don't you guys know your limits?"

"I do." Zexion replied, sighing, "These two don't."

"Shufff … uppp." Marluxia drunkenly slurred as he stumbled around on his feet.

"What are you going to do with them?"

"Zex, you can sleep on the couch. Those two are staying on the floor, there's no way they're fucking up my suite with their drunkenness. I'll find some sheets to put down for them or something. Besides, I don't need Lightning coming back in here tonight with Fang and Paine and doing that silent, narrowed eyed creepy shit she does when she's pissed off. Just try and be gone in the morning before they get back?" She left the bathroom and turned to me, "Help me out a bit?"

After dragging Demyx from the bathroom floor and letting Marluxia fall down to the floor besides him, Axel threw a blanket over the two drunkards while I gave Zexion one of Axel's extra pillows. I went back into her room and waited for her to get them situated. Axel sighed as she closed the door to her room and made her way back over to her bed, "Sorry about that." She hoisted herself up and crawled over me to her spot by the wall again.

"I swear I can't escape them even if I try."

"What happened?"

"You were knocked out when my phone started ringing. They were out at some frat house party, Demyx and Marluxia don't know their limits, like always, and got fucking smashed. Zexion called me up and asked me if they could come over here to sober up for a little bit because there was no way he'd be able to get the three of them home and into their apartment with the way those two are right now." Axel rolled her eyes, "This isn't the first time they've done this. You're just not usually here for it."

"Tough." I snorted.

"And now I can't get back to sleep again." Axel sighed, "I was having a nice dream too …"

I rolled over on my side and yawned, "Well … I can."

Axel exhaled in irritation and I knew there was something on her mind. "Say, Roxas?"

"Yes?"

"Have you ever masturbated?"

"Why are we talking about this?" I asked, groaning into my pillow.

"Just thinking about our talk from earlier. And, oh, come on, Rox. How long have we known each other? Seven years? We're practically stuck with each other for life at this point." Axel began, "You never wanna talk to me about these types of things. Don't you want to be at least _somewhat _prepared for your first time when it comes? Even if you're not having sex yet, it doesn't hurt to know your body, you know?"

"Have _you_?"

"Of course, silly!" She elbowed me again, "Now, come on."

I pulled the duvet over my head, "_Yes_, I have. Okay? Now can we please go to sleep?"

"Really?" The intonation in Axel's voice rose and I knew I was in for a million questions at that point, "So you're not that frigid after all, huh, Rox?"

I sighed loudly in irritation. Honestly, was she going to give this up? "Axel."

"Soooo …" I could feel her leaning closer even though I wasn't looking at her, "Did you … _you know_."

"Yes, I, _you know-ed_." I was two seconds away from punching her in the arm again if she didn't back up away from me, "Now go to _sleep_."

"What were you thinking about?"

"As _if _I'm going to tell you about that." I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands in agitation, "Axel, I'm going to give you three seconds to move away from me or I'm going to punch you in the god damn face."

"Violence solves nothing, I hope you know."

"It does in my book." I turned around to face Axel and frowned, "Why the sudden curiosity in all of this?"

She scratched the back of her head, "I told you before, our conversation from earlier had me thinking about stuff. You said you were waiting for the right person for your first time, but I was just wondering if you ever got yourself off … you know, just to see how it felt."

"And if I hadn't?"

"I don't know." Axel grinned, "I could've been something like your sexual fairy god mother or something."

"…This coming from the girl who can't decide if she likes dick or not." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Hey, I've got experience where you don't. Straddling the fence does have its advantages, you know?"

"Oh, I'm sure."

"Is that sarcasm I detect in your voice?" She grinned, "Everyone appreciates a well rounded girl, Roxas. Fact of life."

"I'm not going to even ask who you consider to be _everyone_, and I'm not going to even grant you the satisfaction of an answer for your delusions." I rubbed at my eyes and stifled a yawn, "Now, please. Can we cease with all this talk of sex and just go to sleep?"

"All right, all right."

-x-

It was still dark the next time I woke up and Axel was missing from bed once again. I didn't have to go far before I heard something going on outside of Axel's dorm door once again.

"—and don't forget to text me to let me know that you retards made it back safely, okay?"

"I hope that comment was directed to those two out in the hallway and not me, Axel."

"Of _course_, Zex. When the hell have I ever considered you to be a retard? …And make sure Demyx doesn't pass out in a puddle of his own vomit again, will you?"

The exchange became more muffled and the front door to Axel's suite closed. Two seconds later I heard Axel sighing as she stopped short of her room and headed for the bathroom. With a quick glance at the clock I saw that it was seven thirty. She'd have to get to the library in about half an hour. I shifted back into the sheets and closed my eyes as I heard Axel running the water for a shower.

I groaned, turning over in my pillow and smothering my face with the soft surface. The grey light of an early winter morning was starting to trickle in through the half closed blinds. I glanced toward the half open door and rolled over onto my side and away from it. These days, being around Axel makes me crazy. I hide it well, I suppose. I tend to push it to the back of my mind, never trying to think about it and denying myself from feeling what I feel. For lack of a better word, she's my best friend. Has been for the past seven years. I'm not allowed to feel like this, I can't feel like this. I can't fuck this up, not given everything we've been through and done.

All this talk about sex ... it's not that I'm a prude or that sex makes me uncomfortable. It's just that I don't like when she talks about it with me because ... it's just teasing me in a way that she'll never know. I sighed, rolling into her pillow and inhaled gently. Axel's got this odd scent, something like charred paper mixed in with the dying remnants of floral pastures. If you think about it, it doesn't sound all that appealing … but it's her.

I could hear her singing obnoxiously—badly—to some random song in the shower. When she got to a part that she knew, she'd get really loud and then went back to making garbled nonsense of the lyrics she wasn't too clear on.

I sighed again, bringing the duvet over my head and tried to drown out the sound of her singing and the running shower. I'd become something of a pro of betraying my true emotions, though I know little hints of jealousy came out every now and then. Like when I made a big deal out of spending time with Riku and Sora last night rather than having her all to myself. But, Axel was oblivious. She didn't notice these things at all.

I poked my head out of the duvet briefly before sinking back in and swathing myself in it. I rubbed my legs together a couple of times and groaned as I felt an aching in my lower stomach. Figures, of all the places to get aroused, it'd be here. I pulled at the waistband of my shorts and shut my eyes as my hand dipped between my thighs. I still felt like there was something wrong about all of this.

Yes, I was doing this in Axel's bed for one. That was just fucked up to begin with. Another was all the shit I'd given myself over my sexuality. In case you didn't know, even though it's just my mom and me, I was raised Catholic. Axel thinks I'm comfortable with the way I am, but in actuality, there's still a part of me that wishes things could be different. That's why I think I give her so much shit on the flip flopping that she does. I don't want her to resent being the person that she is in the way that I do. Even though Axel is pretty much the type of person to say, "To hell with what everyone else thinks," I know there's some part of her that cares regardless.

I curled my fingers instinctively and bit down on my bottom lip to stifle a groan. I don't do this often enough. It's kind of hard to when your roommate is shacking up with her girlfriend every other night in your dorm room, forcing you to have to sleep with a pillow over your head with music blaring into your ears. It's a bit of a mood killer.

"Yo! Roxas! You up?"

My thighs tightened around my hand and I pushed my burning face into her pillow. I hadn't even heard the shower turn off as I was too distracted in my thoughts. The door to her room slid back and I heard Axel walking into the room, whistling away.

"Rox—"

"I'm up." I managed through gritted teeth as I curled up even further in the duvet.

I heard her towel drop to the floor and the moving of dresser drawers, "Are you gonna take a shower or anything before you head back to your dorm?"

"Yeah …"

She sat down on her bed, "Well, then, get up silly. You're wasting time."

"Are you decent?"

"Oh, come on. How many times have you seen me in the nuddy pants, huh?"

This wasn't fair. I sighed loudly, pulling my hand from between my thighs and wrapping it up in the bottom of my shirt. This was going into the laundry the minute I got back to my dorm, "Enough to blind me."

"Ouch." Axel began, moving off the bed, "What the hell are you doing wrapped up in the duvet like that anyway? You aren't cold are you?"

"No." I said, "Are you decent yet?"

"Yeah, yeah. I've got a shirt and panties on."

I pulled the duvet down and immediately pulled it back over my head and felt my cheeks heat up, "_**AXEL**_**.**"

"Like I said. Nothing you haven't seen before." She laughed loudly, "Now get up and stop being such a prude."

I heard the rustle of clothing and grumbled as I pulled the duvet up with me as I sat up. I pulled the duvet down slowly to see if Axel was decent. She was in her panties and bra and was about to pull a long sleeved shirt on. I averted my gaze as she was preoccupied with something on her desk and made my way to the bathroom. I hopped out the shower as quickly as I had gotten in and made sure to bring my clothes along with me so I could get dressed in there as well.

"Spoil sport. You know I love seeing you run around in your cute little frilly undies." Axel commented as she was pulling her hair into a side ponytail when I came back into the room.

"I swear you were a guy in a past life. There's no other explanation for how perverted you are."

She smiled cheekily at me and clipped back the rest of her flyaway hair, "Maybe I was. Maybe you were, too, you know?"

I rolled my eyes, "I highly doubt that. Are you ready?"

"Just a second."

She cracked open a contact lenses case and made a couple of stupid faces in the mirror as she put her contact lenses in. Axel followed up with her typical mascara and eyeliner before grabbing her keys and ID and motioned for me to follow her out of her suite. It wasn't that cold that morning, which was a welcome relief from the abominable weather we'd been having all week. When we were at the library, Axel paused outside briefly to talk with me for a minute,

"So, I'll call you after my shift is done. We can go out tonight with the boys or something. Sound good?"

"Whatever." I shrugged, stifling a yawn.

"Go back to your room and get some sleep." She laughed gently and ruffled my hair gently, "I'll call you later, Roxy."

"Right." I glanced behind her and caught Vexen staring at the two of us through the glass doors of the library, "Your admirer is waiting for you."

She turned around just in time to catch Vexen looking away from her and groaned, "Wish me luck that I don't castrate him today."

I shrugged, "Do what you have to do."

She sighed, spun on her heels and waved at me as she entered the library. I watched her for a minute before I turned around, dug my hands into my jacket and headed back to my dorm. I'd probably go to sleep when I got in if Sora and Riku weren't still fucking like rabbits. Then Axel would call me, we'd get lunch and she'd go back to work. Maybe I would do some homework if I felt like that.

Then Axel would call again and it'd be another night out with her motley crew. If I was lucky—(sarcasm)—I'd get into a fight with some clingy bitch at the bar. Get dragged away by Axel in the process and whisked off to the car for being difficult. We'd find another bar, no problem. Then at the end of the night, we'd all pile into Zexion's car and head back to campus and try to get some sleep for lecture tomorrow. And so, today would become yesterday. Another day down as I would lie forever waiting on the eternity that was tomorrow.

Just waiting for it to bring me the same damn thing as it did every day.


End file.
